Dumb Sharks
Posted by Josh Hoptay on September 21, 2004

Over the last couple of weeks, out of class projects have taken up a lot of my free time which has left very little room for poker, actually none to be exact. However, I was able to find a little free time tonight so I decided to wonder around campus in search of game. The beautiful thing about the growth in poker recently is that pretty much anywhere and at anytime one can find a game without any trouble somewhere on or around campus. Tonight was no exception. At about 11 o'clock I stumbled onto a group of about 7 guys in my dorm's basement lobby. All the players seemed pretty nice and sociable and as I watched them for a while, seemed to have very little knowledge of the game. Overall, the table looked like a good place to have a little fun and most likely pick up some quick cash. The buy-in was relatively cheap, just 50 bucks, so I decided to give it a go.

After sitting at the table for a little over 20 minutes I noticed a subtle change in the way everyone was playing at the table. Originally, when I had stopped to watch the game to decide whether I should play or not, everyone at the table seemed to be more than willing to jump into the pot no matter what their cards were. Ace high with 4 to a straight and/or flush on the board, seemed like most people thought it was a great idea to raise in that position even if everyone else was still in the hand. Seven two off, hey it looks kind of pretty, probably a smart decision to go all in pre-flop with two people raising prior to you. However, playing styles quickly changed. Bullets and cowboys were being folded when the board paired and a big raise was made. Hands were actually being checked all the way around. Draws were being folded rather than chased. On a whole, it was a complete reversal of style for the entire table. I realized that I had been sandbagged when I stopped to watch the table and was in a pretty deep hole right now. The table had a rule that you had to give an hour notice of when you were cashing out which I had agreed to when I sat down. At this point I wished I hadn't, but they had my money and there was nothing I could do about it. I called my hour and hoped that maybe I could get lucky and catch the nuts a couple times and maybe make it out of there with my buy-in.

Thirty minutes later though, I was thinking something completely different. After watching everyone at the table once the style of paly changed, I noticed something very interesting. Never were there any bad beats between any of the players at the table outside of me nor was the pot raised after I had folded out. It was just checked down to the river. I caught on pretty quickly that not only had I been sandbagged but also that I was being hustled. The entire table was colluding against me. So much for a friendly game. However, this wasn't such a bad thing. When I was watching them for tells I noticed something kind of odd. Everytime someone had something they would make an odd gesture, pop their knuckles, pull on their ears, play with their hair, etc. For example, if a person had top pair, he would scratch his head before deciding how to act. If a person had trips, he would tilt his head to the left and then to the right before deciding how to act. If a person had the nuts, he would shuffle his chips and then count out his bet. For the collusion to work and have the lowest risk of losing money to me, everyone had to know if their hand was beat by someone else at the table. That way, they could fold and not needlessly lose their money if I ended up with the best hand. Pretty clever as long as no one has enough intelligence to realize your clever signals. I guess tonight wasn't thier night.

After a while I had picked up on almost all of their signals for each type of hand they held. My time to cash out came and went as I decided to continue to sit at the table. I stayed for probably another two or three hours until I started to get a little tired. I took a couple bad beats, but ultimately ended up well over 250 dollars for the night. I learned that these guys play pretty much every night and I am sure that tonight wasn't the first night they tried to hustle a couple of people. It felt really nice to give them a good whooping, almost like I had in some way made sure justice prevailed. In any sense I don't think I am going to be welcome at that table again, I got the feeling that I was one of the few that walked away with their money instead of the other way. In a way I feel kind of bad as that game would probably be a sure fire way to make some quick cash, but then again my game doesn't improve playing at that table and that is what I am ultimately going for.

At any rate, it still amazes me the amount of people out there that are willing to cheat. For me, poker is both a source of income and a hobby. More so the second than the first. I find the true pleasure of the game is in playing it and its true reward is the satisfaction of playing it right, not in winning because as everyone knows, those two things often aren't synonomous. Cheating to me seems to take all of the excitement and purpose out of the game and why people would want to do that is beyond me. Admittedly, that is a really sappy way of thinking about it, but thats just me. On any level though, it felt real good to not only play the game tonight, but to hand those that disrespect the game a real good, old fashioned, ass whoopin.