I am officially, no longer, a city employee. As of five o'clock today my stint as an agent of the government ended. No more filing, no more memos, NO MORE BULLSHIT and it feels good to go back to the world where common sense exists, not always used, but at least exists.

Despite my bitching, the last month turned out to be pretty interesting. Contrary to some of the other city employees, those that I worked with directly were some of the most intelligent, well spoken, organized, and friendly people I have met. They made my work experience enjoyable and reaffirmed how much is lacking from the isolated world of "poker as a profession." Even over such a short span of time, I built up what I would say was a little more than a working relationship with most of my co-workers. I knew a lot about their personal background, college experience, children and grand-children and I shared with them a lot about my past. With how slow it got around the office, it was hard not to sit down and get to know each other. At any rate, this is going somewhere, so I guess I'll just take it there right now.

As a thank you and goodbye type thing, the crew decided to take me out to lunch. We went to a small italian restraunt. The atmosphere was very personal, relaxed, very non-professional. It felt almost like a dinner with the family. Half way through the meal, my boss got a very inquisitive look on his face and asked why I had decided to work half way through the summer. I think he expected me to talk about a trip or some kind of family thing, I really don't know. However, the answer I gave him definately was the last thing he expected.

I told him over the last six months I had been playing poker more or less as a job. I can't really explain the expression that came over his face. It was almost a look of complete betrayal. The conversation at the table stopped and all of a sudden everyone was focussed on me. It felt like one of those bad dreams where you were sitting in class, the teacher just asked you an impossible question, and all of a sudden you realize oh damn, I'm not wearing any pants and its amazingly cold in here. You just sit there, turn a little red, desperately searching for a way to salvage the situation.

There was about three or four seconds of uncomfortable silence where it seemed as if the entire restaurant went quiet when one of my coworkers said in an almost matter of fact tone "well, I never expected you to be a gambler." It was like I had just committed an unforgivable sin or somehow forgot to put a cover page on my daily reports per the memo I recieved that morning. At this point I went into a full court press defense. The looks, the tone, I had just been told in the most explicit but silent way that the last six months of my life were utterly despicable.

I looked at my co-worker and told her well I'm not really a gambler, in fact, I hate gambling. This of course brought more confused and disapproving scowls but at least opened a door for explanation. So I walked through it. I explained that gambling is about saying I have a chance to win money, I may not always win, but I have a chance to. In that situation, over the long run, you will always lose. Gambling is very much a short term situation. Poker, on the other hand, is anything but gambling. If viewed and evaluated over two or three hours of play, I would call it gambling, but seriously playing poker as a job means playing it for upwards of eight to nine hours a day six maybe seven days a week for months on end. In that long of a time period, its not gambling, but a game of odds where if played correctly, it is extremely difficult to lose.

My explanation was met with a lot of skepticism. My boss, in a mixture of confusion and arrogance, asked "so you never lose?" I knew it was just a matter of time before someone asked me that. Whenever you talk with someone who has little experience with or knowledge of poker, they always seem to ask you that. The good thing is that you have an answer for it. I told him no, I do lose, sometimes a lot. Anyone who says they dont lose is either lying or has never played poker. The difference is that over an extended period of time I don't lose. I may lose a couple hundred dollars two or three nights in a row, but five or six nights in a row I'm going to pull in a couple hundred dollars.

My coworkers still weren't getting it so I tried explaining it to them in a pure numbers sense. I asked them that if they were given the oppurtunity to place a one dollar bet on the outcome of a coin flip one thousand times where if it was heads they would recieve four dollars and if it was tails they would lose one dollar, would they do it. The entire table quickly agreed that they would. At that time, the light bulb came on in one of my coworkers' head who started to pick up what I was talking about. I told them playing poker over the long run, as long as you are decent at it, isn't any different. I got into a little bit of discussion about odds, betting based on value, etc. The conversation went on for a little while where most everyone got a little bit of an idea what I was talking about, and while they were still a little hesitant about the idea of poker, had dropped a lot of hostitlity towards the idea. It wasn't until I told them that I had been able to pay for most of my education and some of my monthly expenses that they dropped most all of their hostility towards the game.

Deep down I guess I expected that kind of response, its most likely why I had never brought it up in prior conversation, but it still surprised me sitting there at the table. I would have thought with all the exposure poker has had on TV that people's perception of the game would have been at least softened. Maybe it has been and I worked with a collective of the unaffected. I really don't know but it got me thinking what a disservice is done to people who really can play the game.

When I got home, I pulled up iggy's page which was a whole another experience seeing that he had linked me up (thanks) but the important aspect was the bit he had about poker players, their resume gaps, and the valuable job skills that they have cultivated during that time the gaping hole represents. If you can play the game successfully you have learned to do some amazing things. Manage your money, your emotions, manipulate odds, and analyze people. All traits that, at least in my limited experience in the workforce, are vital, and by all accounts, seem to be qualities companies are looking for in employees, especially managerial candidates.

I guess its the stigma that the game has gotten and the overall ignorance that people have of the game. I know before I got into playing, I thought the game was dominated by luck. With the help of some of the unbelievable suck outs that you see on TV, I'm sure that image is perpetuated in anyone who's limited experience is only through that newly invented channel, but thats an issue for a seperate post. I just wish that for once people could see what it means to play the game as a job, to grind out a living, and not just see the glitz, glam, and complete sham that has become the new get rich quick scheme of TV era poker. Maybe then poker would have more meaning than a degree in management, but until then I guess I'm just going to have to live with both of them being a tough sell.

I laughed when my girlfriend went to London a couple months ago and brought me back a "My girlfriend went to England and all she gave me was this fukcing shirt" (no I didn't spell that wrong and if you didn't get the joke in that I promise there is one) but deep down inside I felt a little cheated. I mean hell, the crap I bring her back, its nice, like a 'prata' purse or a 'guchi' hand bag, you know the high class stuff you can find only in Europe and the NY sidewalk.

Fast forward to last night and again I felt cheated however this time it was at the poker table.

Hitting a royal flush is something special. Most online card rooms recognize that and have promotions. Ultimate Bet has its high hand jackpot (which is now back until the 15th I think), party poker has its high hand jackpot tables, the list goes on. The common thread amongst most all the sites: MONEY. If you hit a royal flush you get some kind of monetary reward.

So when I hit mine last night on Absolute Poker, I was expecting to get some kind of pay off. I didn't get any from the hand, the board had four spades and everyone else had red cards. It didnt bother me though, I'm getting something for my big hand.

Well as it turns out, I did get something, but nothing I can put in my wallet. Apparently, Absolute Poker has a Royal Flush Club. Sounds special right. It must be because once you become a member, they give you a T-shirt. Yeah, you hit a royal flush and u get a T-shirt.

I felt really cheated, but at the same time I found it kind of funny. In a game where you can figuratively lose your shirt, and where at times I literally have (ain't strip poker a blast) I won a shirt to wear. Something seems slightly comical in that. However, I still feel cheated, very very cheated.